Hey everyone I’m back yeah I’m not even going to come up with an excuse why it’s been so long. You know how it is one moment your following a candy bar on a string next there's a box over you and you’re working as a sex slave for the king of Nigeria. (Jokes on him because I got that candy bar)
So let’s talk about something absolutely no importance the royal wedding. People are calling it the event of the year so suck on that earth quake in Japan with thousands killed or war in Libya which actually affects are lives. So I’m going to cover all 3 of these issues.
Royal Wedding- So yeah the Prince of England is marrying some random chick proving once and for all that even a normal girl can be a princess. WRONG it proves that even if you have bad teeth (England for country with free health care your dentist suck) and a stupid accent you can still get a hot chick if you’re rich and the prince of your own country. Coverage begins at 3am. There is no way in hell that I’m going to get up at 3am to watch a wedding I wouldn't get up at 3am for my own wedding. I mean I’m an American we fought a whole war so we wouldn’t have to eat biscuits or watch polo or watch a Royal wedding. Yeah I’ll watch Michal Jackson's a crazy pedo's funeral but not a magical wedding. Also what are they the Royalty of they can't execute me (believe me the queen has tried. She didn’t want me breaking into her palace she should've got a higher gate and better guards.)
Japan- So yeah Japan has been hit by an earthquake a horrible tragedy so it's my job to make fun of it. I don't know why it’s taking them so long to rebuild I mean Godzilla wrecks that place like once every week and they rebuild it in like a day. Godzilla is going to be pissed when he shows up.
Godzilla- Who the Hell destroyed Japan??? >=( Mothera did you do this?
Mothera- Nah man Me and King Kong were picking up chicks on Monster Island
Godzilla- Hellz yeah let’s get are drink on.
Yep ohhh and some nuclear plants had a meltdown so now even more giant mutated lizards yay!!!
No seriously guys donate money to help Japan it’s the right thing to do.
War in Libya- WAR IN THE MIDDLE EAST HOW SUPRISING!!! Like that’s never happened. Soo yeah NATO is getting involved. (NATO is pretty much the Justice League of countries.) So finally France is getting involved. Their Equipment is shiny and new almost like they have never been used ohh wait....... it hasn't. For some reason though Libya is still standing even with a civil war going on and most the powerful nation's in the world fighting.
Well thanks for joining me today on this intergalactic trip of awesomeness see yeah next time
