It Was This or Do Homework & The Real Reasons Pandas are Endangered

As I sat in my smoking lounge holding my pipe while wearing my fancy robe (Yeah i have all these things. The trick to being rich is to not pay your taxes.) I wonder what to talk about in my next blog (and my strange love hate feelings towards Justein Beiber......What) I glanced towards my panda bear skin rug. (I killed it with my bear hands and 15 tons of plastic explosive.) and wondered why they were endangered. Then it came to me

THEIR GAY!!!!!
(this explains why their justin beibers favorite animal)

Thats right u heard me. But Evil Toast their endangered cause we destroyed their bamboo forest. I dont use bamboo for anything NO ONE DOES!!!!! The only use it has is as bait to lead the pandas to my giant cache of plastic explosives.

Its illegal to hunt them (according to my lawyers it was self deffense. The panda had a gun *wink*) and ive eaten one. its like eating a skinnier version of snookey from Jersey Shore. (why dont people pay me to be an idiot on TV)  WARNING: DO NOT EAT SNOOKY!!! THE AMOUNT OF PLASTIC IN HER NOSE AND BOOBS WILL GIVE YOU DIAHERRIA AND THE AMOUNT OF UV RAYS IN HER SKIN WILL GIVE YOU CANCER!!!

So its obvious their just getting it on with each other. Ive seen them looking at another male panda seductivly. I know what you are all thinking. Evil Toast your just jealous of the pandas. Its true I am. I know their trying to seduce me eating their bamboo all sexy like they do. But the problem with dating a panda is that he doesnt call you rhe next day. Then you run into each other at a party and its just ackward cause hes with another guy named Chad and your with another panda and u just look at each other weirdly and then cry yourself to sleep that night. Its true ive been there WAHHH WHY DID U LEAVE ME PAUL PANDA WHY DID U LEAVE ME!!!!!!!!!


*DO TO TECHNICAL DIFFULCULTIES WHICH INVOLVES EVIL TOAST CRYING IN A CORNER WHILE LISTENING TO LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE THIS IS WHERE THIS BLOG ENDS*